My Life on the Lanes - The Good, The Bad and the Painful

Who would have ever thought back when I was a 14-year-old boy throwing a 10 lb house ball down the middle of the lane that one day the game of bowling would play such a pivotal role in my life?

Certainly not me.

Truth be told when I was a kid I hated bowling.  Not because the game wasn't fun but because I wanted to play baseball.  That was my dream.  As luck would have it I never got the chance to play baseball as my parents were pretty set on my brothers and myself all bowling instead (somehow my sister missed this family tradition).

The conversation every year went something like this:

"Can we PLEASE sign up for baseball this year?"
"Of course we can, son."

Two weeks later:

"Ah drats, we missed the little league sign-ups again, but we can still get you into the Saturday morning youth bowling league if you want".

Being that agreeing to this delayed me from having to do my chores on Saturday mornings and allowed me to get out and do some sort of organized activity with my brothers, I was game.

Around the age of 15 I finally realized "wait, if I am going to be playing this game for a while then darn it I am going to have to figure out how to do it right".

One summer afternoon I went searching through my dad's bowling bag and found his Black Hammer ball and off to Pro Bowl II I went.

No more was I going to be the kid throwing it as hard as he could down the middle of the lane with a ball off the house rack.  I was going to figure out how to curve the ball no matter how long it took.   I even got a job working at the bowling center so that I could practice for free. And practice I did.  I would bowl until my hands would bleed most of the time and then I would be right back up there the next day to work some more.

If this is the path that my mom and dad wanted me to take in terms of my sporting life then I was going to figure it out no matter what it took.

I, to this day, have only had one goal when I bowl:  make mom and dad proud.  It's that simple.  Whether it be about my scores or my actions on/off the lanes, the only goal I have ever had is for them to be proud of their son.

YOUTH LEAGUE BOWLING

That summer I signed up to bowl in a couple youth leagues and managed to bring my average up from 140 to 180 by the end of the season.   All of the sudden I felt like hot stuff.  I felt like I could take on the world at that point and boy was I wrong.

Fall leagues are where most of the strong bowler's bowl and I quickly realized at the start of the season that I wasn't nearly as "ready for prime time" as I thought I was.  Jerry Morrow, Phil Lenz and Danny Gronefeld were some of the higher caliber guys in my youth program at that point but there was also an influx of young talent right behind them in the likes of Kenny Tally, Tony Meibers, James Stasel, Ron Clarkson, Glenn Woods, Craig Guldenschuh, Mike Schad and Chris Corbin.


That season, with the help of some amazing youth league coaches assisting and pushing me,  I fought and clawed my way up to averaging 207 which was good enough for 2nd in our Saturday morning youth league and I was on cloud nine.

Maybe a little too much on cloud nine, actually.

Our youth league team name was "Loud and Obnoxious" and we lived up to that name quite well.  My team was well known for loud high fives, slapping and running out strikes and being a bit rowdy at times when we started bowling well.

We were kids, don't judge.

Charlie Schneider, Chris Corbin's brother, took a liking to my game and did something for me that eventually played a huge role in my progress.  He did not want me to get pigeon-holed into only bowling at Pro Bowl II so once a week he would come and pick me up at my house and we would drive to different bowling centers in the city and practice.   Knowing that I didn't drive at this time Charlie took it upon himself to make sure I didn't become a house bowler and I am forever grateful for his act of kindness.

My final year of JR leagues was incredible.  I remember like yesterday bowling my first 800 (804) with a Fire Quantum at Pro Bowl 2 and then following that up with my first sanctioned 300 the following week with the same ball.

It was also that year that I decided to bowl a qualifier in Lexington for the national Coca-Cola Youth championship.  Because I was a kid and thought I was invincible I spent the week prior playing a lot of basketball and, as luck would have it, severely injured the ring finger on my left hand (this injury still bothers me to this day).

My finger was so mangled that I was unable to fit it into any of the bowling balls that I had and I didn't know anything about the pro shop business and the fact that they could simply drill out the finger hole more and put a new grip in there so I did the only thing I knew to do, I borrowed someone else's bowling ball.

Kenny Tally, a teammate of mine, had a couple bowling balls that I could get my hand in enough to at least attempt to make it work.  Who cared that they span wasn't drilled for me and that Kenny is right-handed, I could fit my finger in the ball and that was all that mattered.

Somehow I managed to bowl well enough to sneak into the step ladder and fired off a 279 game to win the event and earn my spot as the Kentucky representative in the championship tournament that would be held in Memphis, TN.

The trip to Memphis was a real wake-up call to what the rest of the bowling world was like outside of our little group as there was some amazing talent at this event.

I managed to hold my own and, if memory serves me, ended up finishing in the top 10 of the event but never really threatened the leaders.

What this did do was give me a boost of confidence that I was able to compete with the best in the world and helped fuel my fire to get better.

This was a busy year for me as I also made the trip to Akron for the very first Youth Masters tournament which, again, I held my own and made a couple cuts but never really threatened to win.

Funny story from that event though.  The first day was just a practice session in which all bowlers that were registered for the tournament could come practice on the pattern for as long as they wanted.  About 30 minutes into the practice session Danny Gronefeld came down to me and said "have you seen that little kid practicing a few lanes down?  That kid can't be any older than like 13 but he's going to win this thing."

I walked down and watched the kid throw a few shots and was blown away at his game.  I wasn't as confident that he was going to WIN as Danny was as that's a pretty bold statement to make during a practice session in an event that had 200 other bowlers, but the kid certainly had a lot of ability.

That kid ended up winning the event.

That kid was Mike Fagan.

Towards the end of my youth bowling career Wave 3 came to our bowling center and did a small segment for the news on a few of the up and coming bowlers in our area that I was lucky enough to be a part of.  It was that day when being interviewed by the sportscaster that I knew that this is where I belonged.  On the lanes, in front of the camera, playing the game that I had now grown to love and appreciate.

COLLEGE BOWLING LIFE
 
After my youth leagues Tony Meibers and I collectively decided we were going to attend Morehead State University and attempt to make their men's bowling team.  This would be no easy task as Morehead was a pretty strong program and it would require a lot of work and a little bit of luck to make the squad.

With Tony a year behind me in school I decided to take a year off and wait for him to graduate so that we could go to MSU together.  It was during that time off that I started having some small issues with my stomach.

I would have some severe cramps from time to time and even occasionally pass some blood when I went to the restroom but I just figured "meh, it'll go away eventually."

Once Tony finished his time at St. X it was off to Morehead we go!   We were both excited and nervous about what the future would hold but knew that we had each other to kind of make the transition a bit easier.

Upon arriving on campus I spent day after day in the campus lanes practicing while spending my evenings hanging out with the team and getting to know all of the guys that I hoped to one day be bowling with.

For the first time in my life, however, I started to feel very fatigued after bowling for an hour or so and the pains in my stomach were increasingly getting worse.

"It'll go away, nothing to worry about" I continued to tell myself.

After working my tail off and spending every free minute in the lanes practicing I managed to make my way onto the "A" team and was so excited I couldn't hardly stand it.

College bowling was big time stuff and I had earned a chance to start on a very competitive team while continuing to learn about the game from the upperclassmen.

I must admit that I can't remember much about my stats when it came to my freshman year and I can't seem to find them on Google but here is one thing I do remember.

The Hoosier Classic in Indianapolis, IN was the first tournament of the year for our team and they are notoriously brutal at this event.  Not only had I earned the opportunity to start but the team trusted me enough that they had me bowling in the lead-off position.

So here I was, so nervous that you could probably see my knees knocking together as I stood on the approach to make my first ever collegiate shot attempt.

I stepped up, got set, took a deep breath and made my first shot attempt of my college bowling career which I airmailed to the left and counted 2.

Yes, 2.

I threw it out the window and it snapped off the end of the pattern and picked the 4-8 out of the rack.

How freaking embarrassing.

Though I don't remember much about my bowling from that year there is one thing I remember like it was yesterday and that was getting my grades at the end of the first semester and seeing a 1.97 GPA staring me in the face.

You must maintain a 2.0 GPA to be eligible to bowl.

I was absolutely devastated.

After spending the last couple of years dedicating all of my free time to getting better at the game of bowling and had now found an outlet for my newfound love for the game I was no longer allowed to participate with my team that season.

With spending all of my time in the lanes practicing I forgot one key component of college: the actual school work.

To pour just a bit of salt into my wounds, a couple of high-level CBUSA (College Bowling USA) coaches and administrators reached out to share their disappointment in the developments as they believed I was a "shoe-in" for rookie of the year that season.

Never will I place my falling short on anyone or anything but after breezing through high school I just assumed that college would be the same but I could not have been more wrong.

I now had to make a decision.  Did I want to just give up and go home or did I want to stay and put in the necessary work the second semester and try to bring my accumulative GPA back up to the required 2.0?

Coach Larry Wilson and Coach Bobby Brown both sat me down and helped me decide that I would stay and try to bring my grades back up to where they needed to be.

Unfortunately, if you don't change your study and work habits that put you in the position you are in you should not expect to see different results.

During this time the pain in my abdomen continued to get worse but now I just contributed it to the stress of college, being away from home for the first time and now dealing with the issues with my grades.  Needless to say, I figured it would go away.

I worked and worked and worked, I thought, as hard as I could and still only managed a 2.0 for the second semester which was not enough to bring my accumulative average up to the necessary level that would make me eligible again.

It was at that point that I decided that I clearly was not cut out for college.   Between it being very clear that I couldn't handle the school work and the ever increasing stomach issues I was having, I made the very hard decision to drop out of school and return home.

This was a very dark time in my life.   I had really fallen in love with the game of bowling at this point but having a taste of college and true team bowling leaving Morehead was the hardest decision I had made in my young life at that point.

RETURNING TO LOUISVILLE WITH MY TAIL BETWEEN MY LEGS

After coming back home completely devastated and embarrassed about failing to sustain the required GPA to bowl in college I went back to working at Pro Bowl II while also returning to the family drywall business.

Being that I was now addicted to this sport I found myself bowling in six leagues as well as jackpot bowling two nights a week.


It was about this time of my life that I started having more and more issues with my stomach.  Nothing major but it just seemed like every time I ate I would have some severe cramping and would need to find a restroom rather quickly after finishing my meal.

When doing construction you quickly realize that finding a restroom was not always the easiest thing to do.

That being said I was still just a 22-year-old kid that thought I could take on the world and, of course, knew what was best for me (so I thought) and thus I continued pushing forward with both work and bowling.

My day-to-day life about this time went something like this:

Up at 8 am to go to work with dad.
Home by 4-5 pm.
Shower and off to league by 5:45 pm.
Home from league and occasional jackpot bowling by 11 pm
Log onto Party Poker and play Texas Hold 'Em online until around 3 or 4 am.

Rinse and repeat.

Not only was I embarrassed that I was not able to "figure out" college life but I now had found myself living a very unhealthy lifestyle.

Without anyone really knowing it I was circling the drain.   In retrospect, I think I was so down about my poor academic showing that I shifted towards more of a "going through the motions" life just living life one day at a time with no real plan for my future.

My self-esteem took a severe beating when I was unable to bring my GPA back up and I was having a very difficult time pulling myself back up and moving on.

After spending nearly a year living by the seat of my pants I started to think that this life was not sustainable and that the drywall and poker playing life just was not for me.I wanted more.

It was towards the end of winter when I made my mind up of three things:

1) I wanted to go back to college.
2) I was going to go back and focus on my academics and dedicate myself to being a better student.
3) I was going to graduate college and join the PBA Tour.

If there's one thing I can safely say it is that I am not a quitter.   I felt like I gave up and was defeated by walking away from college and I had decided that I did not want to go out that way.

The question was where would I go?

Obviously, first and foremost, I thought about going back to Morehead State to and attempt to redeem myself at the place that I walked away from the previous year.  My loyalty was with the Eagles as this was the school that gave me my first chance and allowed me to bowl on the "A" team during my freshman year when I was very raw and immature.

During my freshman year at Morehead State I had developed a very close friendship with Diandra Hyman (Asbaty now) who was then a superstar for the Nebraska CornHuskers.  When I decided I would be going back to college I had a long talk with Diandra about the possibilities of attending Nebraska and having a fresh start in both my schooling and college bowling life.

I remember the main sticking point Diandra and I would debate over constantly.  Nebraska is a very strong program with top level coaching but only bowled 7 or 8 events per season.  Morehead State, at that time, was bowling 14 events per season.

Also, Nebraska had a team that was already loaded and there was no guarantee that I would even make the team.  With my self-esteem still in the gutter it was hard for me to think I would be able to go to a new program with elite level players and be able to earn a spot on the starting team.   Not that I was a shoe-in at Morehead to make the team but I had already proven to myself that I could do it there, so the thought wasn't nearly as far-fetched as it was with Nebraska.

Diandra would argue that "even though you may not make the traveling team, the high-level coaching you will get while at the school week after week outweighs the actual traveling and bowling on the weekends."

Personally, and humbly, I disagreed.  I was a firm believer that I could learn much more by lacing up my shoes and being thrown into the fire.  Traveling to almost twice as many tournaments and seeing many different lane patterns, lane surfaces and playing environments seemed like a better way to gain the knowledge I was seeking at the time.

Pikeville had also just started their college program and several of my friends from Louisville were going to be attending this school and working to get their program off the ground.  I spoke with the head coach as we talked about my coming to Pikeville and helping with the coaching, recruiting and having a hand in essentially starting this program at the ground level.  I will admit, it was a very tempting offer.

Last but not least I had started giving a lot of thought to calling Mr. Gordon Vadakin at Wichita State and asking if there would be a place on their roster for me.   WSU was the elite of the elite.   As with Nebraska, I was not sure I would stand a chance at making the traveling squad but with my end goal being the PBA Tour, WSU had a very strong track record of preparing bowlers for that environment.  If you take a few moments and fan through the PBA members then and now you will see an extraordinary number of former Shocker bowlers that not only bowl on the PBA tour but have had a high level of success.

When it came time to make my decision loyalty won out.  Morehead State had given me a chance and I feel like I let them down when I couldn't make grades.  Our team had a very legit chance of making a run at the national championship that year with Alan Schopper, Eric Rodriguez, Jimmy Hilligas, Matt Yandek and myself before I had to bow out.   Not that I was the glue that held the team together but either way it was extremely disappointing to have to walk away from the squad because of my laziness and lack of focus on the most important part of college life: education.

I called coach Bobby Brown and coach Larry Wilson and told them I wanted to come back, with their permission.  I would not blame them for one second if they did not want me.   After all, I let the team down when I did not make grades and then, instead of working hard and bouncing back, I took my ball and went home.

Coach Wilson told me he'd love for me to come back and went as far as trying to help me find any and all financial aid or scholarship money that may be available.

Coach Brown took it one step further.

You see, my GPA was still not high enough to bowl since I did not take any classes while I was in Louisville for the previous year.  Therefore I would have to take summer classes and pull my accumulative GPA back up to 2.0 before I would be eligible.  Coach Brown offered to let me come live with him for the summer so that I could take the necessary courses and not have to pay for a dormitory during that time.

It was time to get to work.

MOREHEAD KENTUCKY, I AM COMING BACK

Before heading back to Morehead and focusing my full attention on school work I had one last event on the schedule:  Collegiate Masters in Dayton, OH.

This tournament saw the best of the best college players in the US all come together at Capri Lanes in Dayton for a weekend of bowling for scholarship money and pride.

Most players viewed this as a sort of preseason event to see the "who's who" of the upcoming bowling season.

Being that I had decided I would attending Morehead State again the upcoming season I had reached out to Coach Brown and asked if there would be any way they could let me borrow a couple of MSU shirts so that I could kind of announce to the CBUSA world that I had made my decision on where I would be attending and that this was the first step in my comeback story.

In my mind, it was the equivalent of the spectacle you see these days when high school basketball players gather people together and put a ball cap on to show everyone what college they have decided to attend.

After battling a case of butterflies and fighting my way through qualifying and the double elimination match play portion I found myself in the championship match.

I would be lying if I told you I remember a whole lot about this event as it was 17 years ago but I do have a fuzzy VHS tape of the final match which I managed to string together a late 6 bagger and secure the victory!

Though the details of the weekend were a bit fuzzy (though I do remember using my AMF NightHawk for nearly the entire tournament) I remember one thing like it was yesterday and that is running off of the approach after throwing the final strike and wrapping my arms around my #1 fan, my mom.

Through all of my trials and tribulations throughout the last few years my mother never gave up hope on me, never missed a tournament if she could help it and always made sure she told me how she supported me and how proud I made her.

Winning this tournament was an incredible feeling as it helped fuel my fire to get back to Morehead and do the necessary work that was needed to get me back on the team while also helping me obtain what I previously mentioned was my main goal in the game of bowling: making my parents proud.

Upon returning to Morehead's campus I signed up for my summer schedule and was ready to take on the world, so I thought.

After the first week of classes I was quickly reminded that this was not quite the cake walk my mind wanted to believe it would be.   I was again drowning in work and really had no new plan when it came to note-taking, studying, test taking or essentially anything that had to do with actual school work.

I was taking the bare minimum amount of hours needed during the summer that would allow me, if I received all B's or better, to pull up my GPA to where it needed to be.

The first round of tests came and went and I was doing just good enough in all but one of my classes.
Unfortunately, that one class was not only not good enough but I received a D on the first term paper.

At my wits end with my short-comings, I finally decided to go speak with my professor in hopes of finding out what exactly I was doing wrong and ask if she had any advice on what I could do to improve my work.

This turned out to be the best thing I did during my school life at MSU.

The professor was extremely receptive to my questions, did not rush me out of her office and actually spent several hours working with me on my note-taking process, study techniques, and paper writing structure.

Without knowing it, this professor saved me from once again failing my way out of school.  Without her assistance I likely would not have made grades and would have then gone home again at a complete loss as to what I would do next.

Once the summer classes were complete I ended with all B's and had pulled my grade up to above the required GPA!

I was now officially back.

SOPHOMORE YEAR - MY NEW BEGINNING

While bowling the Collegiate Masters tournament I got the chance to meet a few fellow bowlers that would be attending Morehead State during the upcoming season.   We spent a few moments at the event talking about how exciting bowling together at MSU would be but didn't really have much of a chance to really get to know each other as we were scurrying around between squads that weekend.

One of these bowlers turned out to be my dear friend Chris Heringer.  Chris and I actually bowled against each other in the match play portion of the Masters and it was only a late slip-up on his part that allowed me to move on and eventually claim the championship.  As it turns out we would end up starting a friendship that I cherish and still hold dear to my heart to this day.

Upon returning to campus for the fall semester I met with Coach Brown and Coach Wilson about my role with the team this season.  Above and beyond just being a bowler on the team I wanted to offer my time as a mentor or just as a guide for any of the incoming freshman.  The last thing I wanted was for someone to feel alone and have to go through the same struggles I had during my freshman year.  We talked about ways I could help the team above and beyond our time on the lanes and I was thrilled with the chance to essentially be a team captain and help any way necessary.

I quickly realized during one of our first practice sessions that this team was raw but had some very good talent in the group.  We just needed to find a way to harness it and bring the most out of each individual person.

Right before the season got underway my health started taking a pretty serious nose-dive but I kept it quiet as I didn't want anything to derail what I had worked so hard to accomplish.  In my young and naive mind, I was thinking that I put in all of this time on the lanes and in the classroom to reach this point and I would be darned if I was going to give it up because something may or may not be wrong with my insides.

I made the decision that I just would not eat before I bowled or on the trips to and from tournaments.  This would certainly make for some long days, sure, but it would also ensure that I would be able to compete with as limited amount of pain as possible.   Sure I would be dragging and tired a lot but I'll take that over being in the type of pain that eating food had started to cause.

The year saw its ups and downs as the team struggled to gel at times but also shined in a couple of spots.  It's what I like to call "flashes of brilliance".  There were tournaments that we looked like world beaters and then there were tournaments where we finished near the bottom of the standings.

Individually I had a decent year back but there was one weekend that I will never forget, and it is not for a positive reason.

With the help of CollegeBowling.com (no, I don't remember my stats off the top of my head - I can barely remember my stats from the last tournament I bowled) I started the year as such:

Ebonite Hoosier Classic (Tier 1) - 16th place out of 249 bowlers
Sycamore Classic (Tier 2) - 11th place out of 142 bowlers

Ok wait, funny story about the Sycamore Classic tournament that year.  We were making a run at winning this event and were steamrolling our way through match play until we found ourselves needing to win our last match vs the Cincinnati Bearcats to win the tournament.  I stepped up in the 10th frame as the anchor bowler needing to double and get count to shut out the Bearcats and lock up the win.  After ending x 9/ it forced Cincinnati's anchor bowler to strike out in the 10th to win.    "No chance", I thought.   Between how hard the lanes were at this event added with the pressure of striking out to win the match I felt like we were pretty safe.  After-all, I felt like I knew most of the high caliber players in the CBUSA and I'd never seen the kid that they had bowling 5th at this event.

Of course, long story short, this "kid" I'd never seen before steps up and dead aces all 3 in the 10th securing the victory for UC and knocking us back on our heels.

That kid?  Jeff Fehr.

Moving on.

Brunswick Southern in ATL (Tier 1) - 8th place out of 128 bowlers
Brunswick Great Lakes in Chicago (Tier 1) - 29th place out of 241 bowlers
Queen City (Tier 2) - 20th place out 73 bowlers
Team Match Games in St Louis (Tier 1) - 11th place out of 342 bowlers

And then one of the most embarrassing and shameful weekends of my life.

You see, I had never really ventured very far away from home.  The trip to Atlanta, I believe, was the furthest I had ever been and even then we didn't have much free time to do anything but bowl.

Then came the Las Vegas Invitational and the Sam's Town classic.

Holy smokes.  Las Vegas!!!

I was like a kid in a candy store the first few days there.  I wandered the strip during the day and hit up the tables during the night.

This was the life!

The night before our first day of bowling I remember like it was yesterday.  Robin Crawford (Orlikowski) and I were sitting at a blackjack table when Coach Wilson and Coach Brown walked by and said "get to bed you two.  We have an early day tomorrow."

"We will", Robin and I blurted out at nearly the exact same time.

The next thing I knew here came Coach Wilson through the elevator doors with a stunned look on his face.

"What in the world are you two doing gambling at this hour?"

Neither of us had really paid much attention to the time, we were just living it up in Vegas and enjoying some blackjack.

"This hour?"  I asked Coach Wilson.  "What hour? What time is it?"

"It is 6  o'clock in the morning, Chris.  We are supposed to be meeting in the lobby in two hours to head to the lanes."

Oh.  My.  Goodness.

We had managed to stay up the entire night and now it was time to take a quick shower and head to the lanes.

What made matters worse for me was I didn't eat anything that night, which was usually my go-to plan when I couldn't eat the next day, so now I was not going to be able to eat anything until bowling was completely over for the day -- and it was going to be a long day of bowling.

After a horrendous individual start and feeling like I was going to collapse at any moment I went over to Coach Brown and said "take me out, Coach.  I just can't do it today."

"WHAT?!  Take you out?  Are you joking?" Coach Brown exclaimed turning red in the face with anger.

"Yeah, I just can't.  I'm about to collapse.  I am dead tired and it's hurting the team."

So to the bench I went with my head down and nearly in tears in disappointment at letting my team, my friends, and my coach down.

I ended up finishing in 246th out of 298 in the Las Vegas Invitational and 177th out of 273 in the Sam's Town Classic thus essentially ruining any chance at a year-long award and most importantly letting my team down.

I will never forget that feeling.   That was the only two tournaments that I did not bowl the full allotment of games as I was bound and determined to  NEVER betray my team like that again.  Here I was supposed to be a captain.  Here I was supposed to be a role model for the younger guys on the team.  That was something that I volunteered to do and the coaches trusted in me enough to put that responsibility in my hands and this was the thanks I showed them?  Never again.

Lesson learned.

With a new level of focus and determination I was able to round out the year in pretty solid fashion:

Colgate Invitational (Tier 1) - 14th out of 210 bowlers.  I also bowled an eventful 300 at this event as I missed the headpin on the first 9 but back-doored the 1-3-6 for a strike before finishing it out with two quality shots.
South Jersey Winter (Tier 1) - 44th out of 184 bowlers
Bearcat Hoinke (Tier 2) - 12th out of 79 bowlers
Eagle Classic (Tier 2) - 4th out of 111 bowlers
Blue & Gold (Tier 1) - 4th out of 184 bowlers
ACU-I Region 05 (Tier 2) - 1st out of 67 bowlers.

The fun part about winning the ACU-I was that they had a College Championship event in which all ACU-I winners were invited to Florida to compete against each one another.

It was at this event that I had the chance to become friends with players such as Scott Norton, Andrew Cain and Missy Bellinder (Parkin) and also the weekend that Robin Crawford made the Queens telecast in which I had the opportunity to sit front row and watch her match.

What an incredible opportunity that week/weekend turned out to be.

There were some good times and some brutal times but we battled through it as a team.  I made some long lasting friendships that year including one with a friend, Tom Hays, that to this day I still look at as a brother.  We talk literally every day via email whether it be arguing over sports or betting lunch on whichever PWBA/PBA tournament may be going on at the time.

On a personal note, I was named to the Honorable Mention All-American team for the season.

"Honorable", eh?  I know "honorable" is just another word for Third Team in this situation but the irony didn't fail me as I can't help but wonder where I would've finished had  I been "honorable" and took the Vegas tournaments more serious.   That week was not very "honorable" and I personally think I shouldn't have received any awards just based on that disrespectful action alone.

The best news of that year outshines any of the bowling accomplishments.  After failing to make grades my Freshman year and walking away from school never knowing if I would return, I came back with a vengeance and, with the help of that single professor over the summer, I worked my way back not only to a GPA that exceeded the eligibility requirements but all of the way up to making the Dean's List.

With everything I accomplished in my college career, this is by far the one I'm most proud of.

That summer I only had two goals for my bowling:

a) Practice as much as physically possible, which is likely a goal that any aspiring athlete has.  Again, my dreams had me chasing the PBA Tour after I finished up my education.

b) Win the Collegiate Masters tournament for a second consecutive year.

From what I was told when registering for the event that year only one person had ever won back to back years and that person was Brian Himmler.

That wouldn't be bad company to keep if I could find a way to pull off the victory.

After tossing a 300 game using my Columbia Blue Surge (the only reason I remember that is because it was the ball you received the year prior if you bowled all of the Hoinke events and it had the Hoinke logo stamped on the ball) I managed to sneak my way into Sunday's match-play round.

So you're saying there's a chance!

After winning my first match I found myself bowling a young Sean Rash who out-dueled me in a match that, if my memory serves me, went down to the wire where he struck to win 258-246.

Now I had to battle back from the losers bracket and anyone that's ever bowled a double elimination event you know how much more work it is to win a tournament once you've been handed your first defeat.

Never the less, I persevered on as I as completely focused on trying to win this event and put my name next to Chief's in the record book.

During the next few matches I got hot and started firing off big games right and left.  My confidence was rising with every win and I eventually worked my way into the final match...against the undefeated Sean Rash.

"Pft, I'm dialed in now!" I thought.  "He may've snapped me off earlier but it's my time now.  He's going to have to bowl his brains out to take this from me."

And bowl his brains out he did.

I threw everything I had at him and posted an honorable 250 game in the championship round only to see Mr. Rash throw the first 11 strikes before counting 9 and taking home the title in dominant fashion.

The rest of the summer was spent "working" at Pro Bowl II while also doing the best I could to downplay whatever was happening with my stomach.

You see I grew up in a household where my two brothers and dad NEVER went to the hospital or saw a DR unless they had a broken bone or tried to cut off a limb which my dad mistakenly did one day with a miter saw.  I certainly was not going to go see a DR because my belly hurt.

Big mistake.

JUNIOR YEAR AT MSU - FIRST TASTE OF CBUSA NATIONALS

With a year of college bowling experience under our belts our team was ready to take on the world now.  We all felt a bit more comfortable with the college bowling atmosphere as it was a complete different animal than what some of the guys were used to and the majority of the team returned from the previous year.

Again this year my goals were simple:  Win a National Championship; make first team All-American.

It was this year that my body really started to fail me to the point that it had an adverse effect on my performance at times.

Flying under the radar at the school our team managed to put together some very solid finishes but we were completely overshadowed by our dominant women's team who just so happened to be one of the top two teams in the nation.

Individually, as I struggled to find a balance between my schooling my bowling and my health I did not quite have the season I was hoping for.  My personal finishes (again, thanks to collegebowling.com) went as follows:

Brickyard Classic (Tier 2) - 57th place out of 204 bowlers
Sycamore Classic (Tier 2) - 36th place out of 144 bowlers
Kent State INV (Tier 2) - 22nd place out of 126 bowlers
Brunswick Great Lakes (Tier 1) - 29th place out of 261 bowlers
Team Match Games (Tier 1) - 58th place out of 313 bowlers
Leatherneck Classic (Tier 2) - 5th place out of 109 bowlers
Colgate Invitational (Tier 1) - 55th place out of 206 bowlers
South Jersey Winter (Tier 1) - 8th place out of 204 bowlers
Bearcat Hoinke (Tier 2) - 1st place out of 118 bowlers
Eagle Classic (Tier 2) - 26th place out of 162 bowlers
Blue & Gold (Tier 1) - 16th place out of 185 bowlers
ACU-I (Tier 2) - 2nd place out of 66 bowlers
Hoosier Classic (Tier 1) - 63rd place out of 256 bowlers

That year Sectionals, the qualifying event that teams bowl in an attempt to make the National Championship tournament, was in Louisville KY at Ten Pin Lanes.

Home sweet home!

It was at this event that I once again let my team down.

Coach Wilson had a rule that no matter where the team bowled we all stayed together.  Even if we bowled in your hometown you were required to stay at the team hotel with the rest of the bowlers.  That way you were accounted for at all times and you were guaranteed to be there with the team when it came time to bowl.

I disobeyed this rule.

After a long discussion with Coach Wilson and Coach Brown, they agreed to let me stay at home as I am a bit of a momma's boy and I missed my family.  Yes, I was going to see them when bowling was over but there was just something about sleeping in my own bed before this event since it was in Louisville that I felt strongly about doing even though I knew the rules said otherwise.   Larry and Bobby trusted me enough to know I wouldn't be out doing anything I shouldn't and that I would show up on time as my passion and respect for the team wouldn't allow for me to mess up.

In retrospect, this was an extremely selfish decision on my part and I should have simply stayed with the team.  Not only because it was a standing rule but we were about to bowl the biggest event of the season and staying together as one unit is always a great way to bond and stay focused on the goal at hand.

When Saturday rolled around and it was time to check-in before practice I was nowhere to be found.

I overslept.

The coaching staff, again, put their trust in me and I let them down.   The coaching staff, again, gave me a chance to show that I had what it took to be a leader of this team and instead I went my own way and it came back to bite me.

It is called karma.  Plain and simple.

I rushed to the bowl and got there just before practice started but I was not sure I was going to be able to bowl.  Another rule of the team was if you're late you don't start.   Period.  Though I made it there before practice began I was still late and therefore by the letter of the team rules, I was not allowed to start.

The event we've been working so hard for.  The event that was going to decide if the team had a chance to win a National Title I showed up late for.  How careless and self-centered could I be?

After warm-ups ended Coach Brown gathered the team together and showed us his starting line-up with me, deservedly, on the bench.

"Chris was late and therefore I will not put him in the lineup unless the team decides he should be.  The rules state that he shouldn't start but I am going to leave it up to the team to decide if they want to give him another chance or if we are going to start this event without him" Coach Brown told the group.

The team asked me to let them huddle up and talk things over so that they could decide what the best plan of attack would be.

Seemingly hours went by in that 5-minute time-frame as I was chomping at the bit to bowl but would completely understand if they decided against it.  I knew the rules and I broke them.  Plain and simple.

Once the huddle broke up the guys called me over and told me that they had decided to let me start.  It wasn't an easy decision but they knew I'd never purposely hurt them as I viewed them as family and they knew how badly I wanted to qualify for Nationals so they granted me the chance to bowl and I can never thank them enough for that moment.

We battled through some very rough games on a demanding lane pattern but at the end of the event we managed to post a big last four games and barely climb into the 4th spot and qualify for Nationals.

It was a moment I will never forget.

The Morehead men's team had always been pretty good but the women were the cream of the crop.  Finally, it felt like we mattered.  Finally, it felt like people could maybe start talking about the Morehead program and not just the Morehead women.

Now let me be clear, the women's team was absolutely amazing in both their ability on the lane and their support when cheering us on.  They were just as happy for us making it as they were that they made it.   The entire program was united.  The men's team, the women's team, and the coaching staff were all one big family and the guys were finally no longer the red-headed step-child.

Unfortunately, this event took a huge toll on my body and it was the first time I can remember having a very hard time finishing a tournament due to my health and then suffering the repercussions for several days afterward.

I remember Linda Gronefeld, a dear friend of mine, coming up to me after the event, hugging me and whispering in my ear "are you ok?"

My response: "No, I'm not. Something is very wrong."

Even after that, I didn't go get checked out.  I just kept pushing forward because it was all I knew how to do.

The CBUSA National Championship tournament was held in Buffalo, NY that year.  The night before qualifying begins there is a dinner, dance, and awards ceremony where they announce the All-American teams, the rookies of the year, the coach of the year and the bowler of the year.

As the team sat there enjoying dinner I just pushed the food around on my plate but never ate a bite.  My system at this point was in very bad shape and I was literally terrified of eating anything.  The best way I can describe the pain at this time was like a very sharp hunger pain but it was constant and would buckle me at the knees at times.

The waiting staff came and scooped up the plates and it was time for the award ceremony.  With the lackluster individual year I had, I thought I might have a chance at honorable mention All-American but it was very unlikely so I just sat back and enjoyed the proceedings.

As expected the All-American teams were read off and my name was nowhere to be found.  That was perfectly understandable as I didn't have quite the stats needed for such an honor.

Then came the weird part.

They announced the top 8 candidates for the BWAA Bowler of the Year award and somehow I managed to be a finalist.

So wait, I didn't make any of the All-American teams which consisted of 15 bowlers but the Bowling Writers Association of America thought I deserved to make the top 8 players of the year?

Very strange and unexpected.

To be mentioned in the same breath with Bill O'Neil, Sean Rash, Derek Sapp and the incredible talent that was in college bowling at that time was quite an honor.  Especially on what I considered a very "off" year individually.

The next day kicked off qualifying for the National Championship and what a spectacle this was.

I do remember one story about that trip and it was the beginning of a beautiful friendship.  One that got started in a very unique way.

One of our first matches that year was against a Mike Fagan lead St. John's team.  Now, you have to understand that we were just a bunch of kids living in KY and most of us hadn't really ventured out to see how life and bowling can be in the "bigger cities".

So when facing a team from New York that likes to talk a little trash, things can sometimes get a little sideways when you're not used to it.

Our 2nd bowler during this match, Levi Voss, was struggling a little bit at the time and a couple of the guys from the St. John's team were really letting him have it verbally.

This went on for two or three of Levi's shots before I had finally had enough.

I walked over to the other team and said "listen guys, if you have something to say say it to me.  Stop screwing with my guy.  I have no problem listening to your garbage but what I do have a problem with is you trying to intimidate my guys."

Fagan came back, pulled me aside and asked what the problem was.  After a brief discussion with Mike, he quieted his team down and we all agreed to just let the bowling do the talking.

There was a very little chance we could have ever out "trash-talked" this team and, as it turns out, we couldn't out bowl them either as they beat us up pretty easily and knocked us into the losers bracket.

We gave it our best effort but being that this was new to all of us we kind of allowed ourselves to get caught up in the moment and when you do that facing the talent that surrounded us you get swallowed in.

After fighting to win a couple of matches we were knocked out of the double-elimination event in the early rounds and now got to be a cheering section for our women's team.

Though disappointed that we didn't advance further we all knew our women's team had a legit chance to win the National title so we all banded together to be the loudest male cheerleaders we could be.

Facing the Wichita State Shockers in the final match on ESPN the Morehead State women did indeed manage to capture the title after Joy Esterson, needing to get 7 pins on her fill shot, tossed a strike that lead to the crowd exploding with...well...joy!

Though the 2001-2002 season did not quite live up to my goals there were some bright moments to take home with us.  We made it to Nationals, which was quite a feat for the MSU men's program, the women's team won the title and, though I didn't make any of the All-American teams I did come home with an award.

Towards the end of the college bowling season I had started to toy around with the idea of going to Las Vegas and partaking in the "Mega Buck" events out there.   I hadn't yet tried my hand at any major singles tournaments since joining the adult leagues but I truly felt like I could compete with the best of the best at the time.

If I was ever going to try it I needed to just get on the ball.  I wasn't getting any younger and my health was getting worse by the day.

I still had aspirations of joining the PBA Tour after college and I knew Las Vegas would be a great opportunity to test my skills against the best 'amateurs' in the world.

Unfortunately with just $200 in my bank account the Mega-Bucks were just a dream.  Until I could scrape up some cash it looked like I was just going to be a Louisville league bowler trying to make enough money to pay the bills.

And then I got a phone call that would change everything.

MY FIRST HIGH-ROLLER

I had talked to a few people about the possibility of sponsoring me so that I could go out and try my hand at the Mega-Buck events in Las Vegas but never really pushed as I always felt weird asking for what seemed like a handout.

I had always worked for anything I had received up to that point and it just felt weird to ask someone for the financial backing to chase my dreams.

As I was getting ready to head to Kentucky Kingdom one afternoon I received a phone call from Jack Garrett who is a dear friend of mine and someone that I had looked up to my entire bowling life.

"Hey Chris, I don't want to keep you but I had a question for you.  Were you still thinking of going to Las Vegas for the High Rollers event?"  Jack asked.

"Well I had been thinking about it but I certainly can't afford it so it was more of a "what-if" type of dream but nothing that I had put too much thought into.  Why do you ask?"

"Matt McCreary and I have been talking and if you want to go out there and try a few events we will gladly sponsor you for the trip."

I nearly dropped the phone and started dancing around the kitchen.

"Jack are you sure?"  I asked. "That's a serious investment to make!"

"If you think you can get a flight and still sign up for some of the early bird specials then yes, we are quite sure."

I really didn't even know what to say.  For two people that I looked up to and respected to reach out to me and offer such a thing was mind-blowing.  For these two gentlemen to have that much faith in myself and my abilities was incredible and appreciated.

Once we hung up the phone I immediately made a few calls to see what early-bird packages were offered as well as started calculating how much I would need for my entries, flight and hotel.

How exciting!  I was going to get the chance to head to Las Vegas and face off with the best amateurs in the world and see where I ranked in the grand scheme of things.

My first year bowling the High Roller was the tournament's final year at The Showboat.

I had heard stories from Mike Wolfe, Vinnie Atria, Tony Lambert and Dave Howlett about this legendary bowling center but nothing that they could have told me would prepare me for actually getting the chance to lace up my shoes during the last High Roller held in the building.

Back then the High Roller was a "luck of the draw" single elimination match-play format.  You would pay your money ($500) and draw a lane assignment.  If you drew 1a you bowled against whoever drew 2a.   The winning bowler moved on and the losing bowler was left sitting there realizing they just spent $500 to bowl one game.

I got to town and immediately signed up to bowl a couple sweepers as well as the Red Hot side events which were essentially another sweeper.

To say I was nervous would be the understatement of a lifetime.  Did I really belong out here with these guys?  Could I really compete?

We were about to find out.

After piddling through a couple Red Hots breaking about even and then just missing a check in my first sweeper it was time to bowl my match.

I drew my lane, gathered up my bowling stuff, sat it on my pair and started to get mentally prepared for this one game sudden death elimination match.

As I am tying my shoes my opponent comes down and sets his bags down and says "Chris?  Am I bowling you?!"

I look up and see my friend Brian Wallace from Lexington KY standing there with a stunned look on his face.

We really flew all of the way to Las Vegas to bowl our opening match against someone that lived less than an hour away from our hometown?

Splendid.

In what was a brutally low scoring match Brian covered a baby split in the 10th to beat me in something along the lines of 171-165.

How disappointing.

It was also during this trip that the lefties started to find some major success using their plastic/polyester balls instead of resin.  It was only after I had lost my match that I caught wind of this but luckily there were still a couple sweepers remaining before my flight back home.

Now I did not make any big money during the trip but I did pick up a couple of small checks using my Ebonite Maxim in the sweepers.

So yes, I flew to Las Vegas and bowled my match against someone from Lexington and ended up using my plastic ball the majority of the trip.

What a strange but fulfilling experience.

With the summer coming to a close it was now time to shift my focus back to college and my final year of collegiate bowling.

SENIOR YEAR - SO CLOSE YET SO FAR AWAY

Coming off of our first taste of the CBUSA Nationals tournament our guys wanted more.

The core of the team returned from last year and we ended added two incredibly talented freshmen to the mix in David O'Sullivan and Scott Thornton, though one of them did not get to start the season with the team.

Every year we have our introductory meeting where Coach Wilson and Coach Brown welcome the new members to the group and we go over some rules.  Like clockwork, the meeting wraps up with Coach Wilson telling us that there would be no basketball playing during the college bowling season and without fail we would leave this meeting and go shoot basketball.

Typically we would play small little light hearted 3 on 3 basketball games with only bowlers that way we could just go at half-speed and take care of each other.

Upon entering the gym and taking a few shots Coach Wilson stuck his head in the gym and yelled "Hester, be careful.  We don't need anyone getting hurt today."

Famous last words.

We ended up having enough interest that day to run 4 on 4 full court and, as luck would have it, Scott Thornton made a steal and was driving to the basket for a layup when Justin Van Berkel came from behind to try and block the shot and landed on Scott's ankle.

Fan-freaking-tastic.

The game was instantly called off and Scott was taken to the ER where we found out he had a severe sprain (if memory serves me) and he would be on crutches for a couple of weeks which meant he would miss tryouts.

At what point will we learn our lesson, seriously?

Eventually Scott would recover and join the first team but this was not the way we needed to get the season started.

Little did we know at the time that this year would turn out to be something very special.

The team spent the entire year flipping back and forth with the Wichita State Shockers as the #1 and #2 ranked teams in the country.

It truly seemed like we were on a collision course with each other for the National Championship as I believe one of the two teams were ranked either 1st or 2nd for the entire season.

That being said, with the qualifying and double elimination bracket format of Nationals it would be unlikely that this match-up would actually occur on the big stage.

Individually I had about as good a season as I felt I could have.  There were many moments during this season that I would be on the approach getting set and would go to take my first step only to have a sharp pain in my stomach that forced me to stop and start over again.

It was a true battle to the point that I told my family that once the season ended I would go get checked out.  I refused to do it during the season just in case something was really wrong to the point that I would be told I couldn't bowl.   I refused to let that happen.   Our team this year was truly special and I was not going to miss it no matter what.

As for my individual results, with the help of CollegeBowling.com, here you go:

Brickyard Classic (Tier 2) - 2nd place out of 214 bowlers
Black & Orange (Tier 2) - 20th place out of 104 bowlers
Sycamore Classic (Tier 2) - 2nd place out of 164 bowlers
Kent State Inv (Tier 2) - 19th place out of 144 bowlers
Brunswick Great Lakes (Tier 1) - 20th place out of 285 bowlers
Team Match Games (Tier 1) - 2nd place out of 313 bowlers
Berks/Lehigh Classic (Tier 2) - 20th place out of 73 bowlers
Colgate Invitational (Tier 1) - 20th out of 217 bowlers
Keystone Quaker (Tier 1) - 32nd place out of 218 bowlers
Bearcat Hoinke ( Tier 2) - 12th place out of 187 bowlers
Eagle Classic (Tier 2) - 20th place out of 160 bowlers
Blue & Gold (Tier 1) - 2nd place out of 203 bowlers
Hoosier Classic ( Tier 1) - 10th place out of 210 bowlers

I wasn't rounding or estimating those numbers.  I legit finished 20th 5 times and I finished 2nd 4 times but never did get a win which likely came back to haunt me later.

The team qualified for sectionals again this year but rather than heading to Lexington or Louisville like we had the previous two years we instead were shipped out to Pennsylvania as the #1 seed in the East.

Obviously this was not ideal but our team had gained so much momentum and confidence over the course of the season we were not overly concerned about where we went - we were just ready to get the show started.

Like most tournaments, there were some bumpy sets along the way but we were able to position ourselves into the cut and qualify for Nationals again this season.  We could not wait for that tournament to get underway as we were firing on all cylinders at this point.

The day finally came and we arrived in Tulsa, OK with one goal in mind: bring home the national title.  Period.  Anything other than winning it all would be a disappointment.

On a personal note, I really felt like I had a chance at first team All-American and potentially even make a run at Bowler of the Year.  Would I win Bowler of the Year?  Likely not.  There were some incredible players in the collegiate ranks at this time but I felt like I put up the numbers during the season to at least be in the conversation.

We struggled a bit during qualifying but we spent a lot of the time working different lineups to see what gave us the best chemistry and who felt most comfortable in what spot under the pressure of Nationals.

Once match-play started it was almost like we flipped a switch and instantly went back to being the team that spent half of the season as the #1 ranked team in the nation.

The team managed to fight through the first day as one of the few undefeated teams in the bracket and put ourselves in a great position to make a run on the final day.

This didn't happen without a bit of stress and a little bit of luck.

Facing Central Florida in a match in which the winning team would be done for the day and move onto Sunday while the losing team would have to bowl again that evening and now work their way through the losers ... err... contenders bracket.

It all came down to game 7 and even then it was a nail-biter heading into the last few frames.  Brad Nice had just struck and brought it to me with a chance to really put the hammer down on the match.  I stepped up, took a deep breath, and then went on to toss one of most "talked about" shots of my bowling career:

Central Florida did not back down at all after this and answered right back with a strike of their own.  It was now down to the 10th frame.

One of our two amazing freshmen, David O'Sullivan, stepped up with a chance to strike and secure the victory for our team but disaster struck as his ball hooked through the heart of the headpin leaving the "Greek Church".   The other team allowed Dave to go ahead and finish so that they could see how many they would need to win.

After getting count, and I won't swear these details are exactly right but I have the full-length video somewhere so I could go back and investigate if needed - but I believe Central needed the first strike in the 10th in order to steal the victory away in what could have been a devastating loss for our team.

Their anchor bowler had been nails the entire tournament so we had kind of already accepted the fact that he was going to strike and we were going to now have a long road back if we planned on making the show.

The lefty stepped up on the approach and looked to make what was a very quality shot only to have his ball also go sideways through the face leaving the dreaded split 4.

Disaster avoided and onto the next day we went!

Our first match on Sunday was against the very highly respected Nebraska Cornhuskers team.  You remember, the school I strongly considered attending before deciding to return to Morehead.

After a tough battle, our freshmen again stepped up as they had done all season and helped move us along to the semi-finals.

We were now just one win away from making the ESPN telecast and we were still in the undefeated bracket which put us in an enviable position.

On the other side of the bracket you had the Missy Bellinder (Parkin) lead Cal State Fullerton team and, you guessed it, the Wichita State Shockers.

The dream match-up was now just one win away from happening.

With knowing that we would have to lose twice in the semi-finals it is safe to say we bowled with some relatively loose swings in the final 4 match-up and managed to put together some very strong bakers games and move onto the final match.

Cal State Fullerton was the undefeated team on the other side of the bracket which meant that Wichita would have to beat them twice in order to join us on the telecast.

After a nail-biting first match, the Shockers were able to pull off this incredible feat and advance to join us on the ESPN show.

Rarely in a bracket format do you see the best two teams in the nation manage to find their way to the finals against each other.

This was the match-up everyone wanted to see.   The two teams that had been battling all year for the #1 spot in the nation now would face off for the biggest prize in college bowling.

Before we get to that, let me backtrack a bit.

As I previously mentioned,  I felt my individual year was pretty solid and I would be lying if I said I wasn't nervously anticipating the awards ceremony for this season.

Granted my #1 goal year in and year out is to win as a team.  Without question.  That being said it would be fun to go out my last season with a first team All-American award.

Once the proceedings commenced  I admittedly started to get the butterflies in my stomach feeling as I truly did not know how things were going to go down.  All I could do was sit, bounce my leg up and down releasing all of my nervous energy, and wait to see if my name was called.

Scott Thornton made the Honorable Mention All American team which was quite impressive considering how the season started with him injuring his ankle in our ill-advised basketball game.

The first name read on the Second Team All American list: "From Morehead State, David O'Sullivan".

When the announcer read off the second name on the list, "from Saginaw Valley State, Rob Piroozshad" I thought to myself "you did it!"

You see, from my experiences at these events, when there were multiple players from one school on a certain All-American team they would read all of those names together.  When they announced Dave and then moved on to Rob I thought that secured my spot on the first team.

The announcer proceeded to rattle off the rest of the names from the Second team:

"From Mohawk Valley CC, TJ Mento.    From Southwest Texas, Brian Goode.  From Morehead State..."

"Wait, what?  Huh?  I didn't hear that right, did I?"

"Chris Hester."

I sat there trying to figure out what just happened.

I know individual awards are not what college bowling is about and my main priority of the year was and is winning a national title, but once my name was not read off before or after Mr. O'Sullivan's, I convinced myself that I had made first team.

There's really no telling how long I sat there, slouched in my chair, mesmerized by what just happened but it seemed like an eternity (though I'm sure it was just a matter of seconds).

Finally I thought to myself "stop being a self-indulged baby.  Get up there, stand proudly next to your teammate and get your award."

I made my way to the stage, smiled for some pictures all of the while admittedly fighting back tears of frustration and disbelief, got back to my seat and just collapsed in my chair while staring out into space for a bit.

As they announced the First Team All-American group one particular bowler did something that, to this day, I still can't believe he did.

"From Wichita State, Sean Rash."

Now I'd like to show you a diagram of the seating chart at this event so that you could understand the magnitude of this gesture, but I will just have to explain it the best I can.

The WSU table was nearly right in front of the stage while the Morehead table was near the back of the room.

Sean got up from his chair and proceeded to walk all of the way around the room over to our table where he comes over, shakes my hand and says "you were screwed man.  Great season.  We all know you deserved to be up there with the first team."

And then he went up and got his award.

Did he need to do that?

No.

Did he have anything to gain by doing that?

No.

What he did do was instantly make me feel better about the entire situation and knocked me completely on my heels as I would have never expected anything like that from Sean.

It was a moment I will never forget.

To round out the awards ceremony I was fortunate enough to once again find myself as one of the final candidates for Bowler of the Year which was an amazing feeling.  No, I didn't win, but to be in the final few candidates for the second consecutive year was a great feeling.

Ok, now back to the rest of the National Championship story.

Being that the finals were on ESPN the format was tweaked from best of 7 to best of 3.

Also it was "sudden death".   Therefore, even if one of the teams were undefeated heading into the telecast, whichever team won the best of 3 contest would be crowned the 2003 CBUSA National Champion.

After some discussion with Coach Brown it was decided that I would bowl lead-off in hopes that I could make a good shot and use my energy to get the team fired up.  Chris Heringer would then follow me so that we could keep the lefties next to each other in the lineup.  Brad Nice would bowl 3rd with David O'Sullivan (4th) and Scott Thornton (5th) rounding out the game.

We rolled to victory game one in quite dominating fashion leaving us just one game away from taking home the championship.

That's when things started falling apart at the seams.

Game 2 was a nail biter with WSU edging us out by a mere 10 pins (give or take, I know we lost by less than a mark but I can't find the scores anywhere online, dang it.)

That was a game that took a while to recover from.

Brad, our 3rd bowler, was one of the few guys that used his resin ball to shoot corner pin spares and thus stood very far over into the left gutter when shooting his 10 pins.

Because of the ESPN camera guy trying to film the match Brad was not able to get as far left as he usually did when attempting to convert that pin.

Unfortunately during that second game he left and missed two consecutive 10 pins.

When he told me about this after the match I could have screamed!  Not at Brad, of course, but at the situation.

The telecast was not live.  It was being taped so that it could be edited and broadcast at a later date.  Had I known that this guy was in Brad's way I would have politely asked him to move off of the approach and allow my teammate to shoot his spares in his normal fashion.

However, at the time, I did not know that Brad felt like he couldn't ask the guy to move and instead he tried to just "make it work".


Even after the two single pin misses, our anchor bowler stepped up with a chance to mark and secure the win for the team.

Scott had been clutch for us all season, both before and during Nationals, and we had absolutely no doubt that this would continue at this moment.   He seemed to have a knack for the big moment.

He stepped up and threw what looked to be a perfect shot.   I remember it like it was yesterday.  The feeling I had in the pit of my stomach was that of a 5 year old on Christmas morning.  I couldn't wait to watch the ball explode into the pocket for a strike while we all tackle him in celebration.

As luck would have it, we never got that chance.

It's hard to say what happened but the ball skid just a little bit longer than it should have and left a 2-8-10 split.

This put the ball back in WSU's court and Rash took full advantage of the opportunity by filling 20 pins and forcing our team to somehow find a way to make the 2-8-10.

We did have a lefty on the bench, Justin Van Berkel, so we brought him in to try and make the split for the team.

It was a lot to ask out of anyone.

Just imagine that scenario: you're on the bench, you haven't thrown a shot in hours, the crowd is in a frenzy, you're being filmed by ESPN and all you're being asked to do is come in and convert a split that you have probably not attempted to shoot more than a hand full of times in your life.

Justin gave it a great effort as he just missed the 2-8 to the left and leaving the 10th frame open.

Our guys did our best in game 3 but we were unable to bounce back and we lost game 3 and our shot at the Championship.

For a moment I was sad but then I saw my two brothers, Brad and Scott, in complete shambles crying and blaming themselves for the loss.

NO WAY would I allow that to happen.

There are not many other games out there that are more "team oriented" than Bakers bowling.  Bakers games take five players working together to succeed.

We win as a team, we lose as a team.

"Don't blame yourself", I tried to tell them. "None of us struck every ball.  We all could have done something different along the way that may have changed the outcome of this one.  We just need to congratulate Wichita and reflect on the incredible year that we had."

And that was how my college bowling career ended.

As the tournament winded down they gave out awards for Nationals All-Tournament team as well as tournament MVPs.

David O'Sullivan and I were both fortunate enough to be selected to the All-Tournament team and I was voted (along with Sean Rash) as co-runner up for MVP (Missy Bellinder won the award).

It was a satisfying end to my college bowling career as I was leaving the Morehead team in very good hands and I could walk away knowing that I left it all out on the lanes during my time in CBUSA.

There were good times and there were bad times but I made quite a few amazing friends along the way and came oh so close to winning a National Championship.


ON TOP OF THE WORLD UNTIL IT ALL COMES CRASHING DOWN

Once the college year ended I hit the amateur scene running full speed ahead.

For starters USBC Nationals happened to be in Knoxville, TN that year which was well within driving range.

Jim Dunn had come on board to be my full-time sponsor and he called me one day and asked if I would like to make a trip down to do some Bowlers Journal bowling.

Being that I was a bowling fool and this was essentially how I was making a living at this time I was completely on-board for the trip.

As my memory continues to fail me, I do not remember the complete details of the trip and I don't even remember the score that I bowled.

What I do remember was two-fold:

1) I managed to use my Track Freak to post a score that somehow hung on to win the Open Singles portion of the Bowlers Journal event!  This was, and arguably still is, the biggest singles win of my life.

2) My health continues to head the wrong direction and quickly.

After the successful Knoxville trip it was time to focus my attention on the 2003 Mega Bucks.

At the High Roller in Las Vegas, NV this year they tweaked the format just a bit.  Instead of simply drawing for a lane and bowling a single game heads-up match vs the person on the other lane you now bowl three games of qualifying with the daily leaders getting a bye, weekly leaders getting a double bye and 1 out of 12 making the cut to the finals.


After drilling a new ball at The Orleans I went over to Sam's Town and the first squad of High-Roller qualifying I bowled I managed to post a 763 series which ended up being good enough for the double bye!

I stuck around that evening and participated in one of the two game sweepers and I managed to put up a 502 total which was good enough for 3rd behind Bill O'Neil and Mike Fagan.   I had a chance to win heading into the 10th frame of the last game but got pumped up and fired one through the break-point leaving a 3 pin and missing my chance at winning my first Mega-Buck title.

The next morning I got up and decided to bowl the "Warm-Up" tournament.  This format was a bit odd.

There were multiple 2 game squads and the top 100 single game scores would qualify for the next round (you bowl 2 games and they take your highest single game score).

With my new rock in hand I posted a 258 game which qualified me for the second round later that day.

In the second round all 100 bowlers bowl 2 games and the top 4 single game scores in my division would move on to the final match.  I was able to keep my momentum going and posted a 279 game which was just enough to qualify for the "show"!

Here is was now down to the final 5 bowlers bowling for the title.   I was so excited I couldn't hardly stand it but, at the same time, I was also supremely confident at this point.

The hot streak continued in the finals of this event as I started with the first 11 strikes and posted a 299 to bring home the title!

You want to talk about being on cloud nine!!  I couldn't believe it.  I had won a Mega-Buck title!!!

Now it was time to focus on the main High Roller event which I had a double bye through the first two rounds.

My first match I was still completely dialed in and put up a 735 series which was good enough to move to the final 16.

As everyone knows, what goes up must come down.

With the finals clearly in my sites I set out to bowl my match vs Joe Stillman.

What a match this would turn out to be.

We battled back and forth with the crowd behind us getting very involved with their "ooh's" and "ahh's"

During the match Stillman had caught a couple bad breaks and out of frustration ripped his shirt right down the middle

Heading into the 9th frame of the deciding game we were virtually tied.

I step up with a chance to stay clean and secure my spot in the next round.

Typically I tend to get a bit fast and fire these shots through the break when I'm pumped up so I remember taking a deep breath and saying "nice and easy man, you've got this."

I focused on not over-throwing the shot which, of course, lead me to throwing it a little slow and while it was dead on-line it hooked just enough to leave a 6-8 split.

Mr. Stillman, who had been nervously pacing the floor waiting his turn, smirked and started to try and re-button his ripped shirt.

Knowing I somehow needed to make this and fill 20 in the 10th to lock him out I went for bust on the spare attempt.

I moved all of the way to the left and slow hooked at the 6 pin just gracing it enough to slide it over into the 8 pin for the spare!!

As I come back from the approach I see Stillman grab and rip those buttons right off his shirt again in pure anger.


Just one frame stood between me and a chance at winning my second title of the trip and easily the biggest moment of my singles career.

I grabbed my ball, got set, and made one of my better shots of the tournament - so I thought.  The ball went just a bit too long and left a pretty good 7 pin with the headpin coming off of the sidewall and going right in-front of the corner pin.

"No sweat." I thought as I grabbed my spare ball and made my way to the approach to cover up the single pin.

Taking no time at all I got set and tossed my plastic ball towards that pesky 7 pin.

"Thud."

That was the sound of my spare ball falling into the gutter just in front of the pin.

I was literally sick to my stomach.  I could not believe I just messed this up.  How could I do that?!

Even after botching the spare I still had a very strong chance of winning the match.

Mr. Stillman could now fill 26 pins to tie and 27 to win - so he still needed to double to win.

I remember the next few minutes like it was yesterday.

I slouched down in a seat on the pair to the left of our match and put my hands over my eyes in pure disgust with myself.  Though I was trying not to watch I couldn't help but peek through my fingers to see what would happen next.

Joe released the first shot in the 10th and it was nearly right down the middle.   I mean, down - the - middle.

I actually got out of my seat to go tell him to shake it off and congratulate him on how well he bowled whilst grabbing my stuff and moving to the next pair because there was no way that ball was striking.

As the ball crossed over it grazed the headpin going Brooklyn and proceeded to light mix the pins around for a strike.

I crashed back down in my seat, hung my head and said out loud: "you lost."

With catching a break like that there was no way he was going to miss on the second shot.

My eyes never looked up again until the match was over as Joe tossed two more strikes and knocked me out of the tournament.

I was completely devastated.   How could I have let that one slip through my fingers?  What a complete collapse.

Though I did manage to make the final 5 of two more events during this trip I couldn't help but leave thinking "what if" as I felt this was my tournament to win from the moment I first stepped on the lanes that week.

The only thing I could think about now was "hurry up, February, I need some redemption!"

Unfortunately I did not receive that opportunity.

The Beginning of a New Life

With the success I found during the summer of 2003 I couldn't wait for 2004 and the many opportunities that potentially could come along with the new year.

My dreams of becoming a PBA player were stronger than ever but I certainly wanted a chance to redeem myself at the Mega-Bucks one more time before focusing my attention on the Tour.

During the late months of 2003 and early in 2004 my stomach issues had become pretty unbearable.  I was passing blood nearly every time I used the restroom and I had lost nearly 20 lbs over the course of just a couple months without working out, dieting, or anything of the sort.

We went ahead and booked my flight for the Super Bowl High Roller trip but I was starting to have some doubts on whether or not I could physically make the trip.   At this point I couldn't eat anything without getting sick after and I was unable to maintain any weight while also having almost no energy at all.

I promised my family that if I could just find a way to make the trip to Las Vegas that I would see a DR as soon as I returned.

Just two weeks before my flight was supposed to leave I couldn't take any more.

I went to a primary care DR who sent me over to a Gastro specialist so that they could possibly figure out what was happening.

Nearly six years after showing my first symptoms I was finally seeing a DR.

Dr. Adler, my new Gastro, took one look at me and sent me directly over to the hospital so that he could run a plethora of tests on me to see if he could determine what was wrong.

After doing some blood work and sending me in for a CT scan Dr Adler broke the bad news to me.

"Well Chris it looks like you have Crohn's disease and quite a bad case of it at that."

"Huh?"  I asked.  "What disease?  I've never heard of that.  Am I going to be ok?"

"Unfortunately because you waited so long to see anyone the damage done is pretty intense.  When I usually first diagnose people with this disease I usually can help get them on the path to a 'normal' life with medicines and treatment.  I can't recall ever seeing someone with this severe of a case.  There is so much damage done to your insides that there really isn't much I can do to help you get back to living a normal life.   I can help find a way to maintain your current life but there's no fixing this."

I was in tears.

The thought of having to live the rest of my life in the pain and discomfort that I had been in over the last few years was a terrifying thought.

"What are you talking about, doc!?  There's nothing you can do to fix me?!  I thought that's what DRs and hospitals were for?!"

"Chris I'll be perfectly honest with you.  You have no idea how close to death you are currently.  If you would have waited another couple of weeks before seeing someone you may not have made it."

If you ever need a wake-up call in life, have a DR tell you that you're almost dead.  That'll do it.

I ended up spending 10 days in the hospital as they ran IV liquids through me to help bring me back from severe dehydration and pumped me full of potassium, iron, vitamin D, and every other nutrient that my body was lacking.

"Never again", I remember thinking. "From now on I'll be sure to go see the DR as soon as there is a problem.  I never want to hear him tell me again that I almost died because I was too stubborn and hard-headed to ask for help."

Well, as the old saying goes, never say never.  This was just the start of a battle that would only get worse just a few years down the road.

Road to Recovery

Following that hospital stay my DR told me I would need to take 4-6 weeks off of bowling to help give my body some time to rest while slowly re-building up my strength.

On the way home from the hospital I stopped at Fern Valley Strike & Spare and subbed in league.

So I'm a slow learner.  That isn't exactly "breaking news".

I went right back into bowling multiple nights a week and started lining up my tournament schedule for the upcoming summer season.

Nothing overly exciting until the Grand Boothill Tournament in Chicago.

For the younger generation today you may not know what this tournament is, and that is a shame.

This event featured several days of events ranging from trio events in which the leadoff bowler would throw the first shot, the second bowler would shoot a spare if there was one left and if not they would start the second frame and then the third bowler would throw the next shot.  It was a very unique format that lead to some pretty entertaining situations.   They also have a singles sweeper in which the step-ladder finals was contested using the old PBA Gold Pins.

Most importantly there was the main Grand Boothill event that had multiple qualifying squads and paid $10,000 to the winner.

Each event was held on a different and very demanding lane condition that Woody, the tournament director, would not announce until right before the lights came on for practice.

It was in the main tournament that I had another incredibly disappointing moment of my bowling career.

I had worked my way through a field that had as much talent as any PBA Regional event that I had ever bowled until I was just one game away from the finals.

The format for this event was your typical Eliminator style tournament.  Once qualifying had been completed you would bowl 1 game with the field being cut in half.  This would happen over and over until there were just five bowlers left - 2 from the 39 and under division, 1 40-49 division, 1 50-59 division and one 60+.

I found myself in the match to decide who made the finals in the 39 and under division.

In what turned out to be an extremely close match, the first four bowlers had already finished before it was my turn to bowl the 10th frame.

I stepped up needing to fill 27 pins to tie for the final spot and 28 to lock up my spot.  To add to the pressure of the situation I needed to fill 29 pins to force Mark Siders, who was the final bowler of the group to bowl, to strike out to tie.

I scooped my ball up off of the rack, wiped the oil off, got set, took a deep breath and proceeded to toss a near perfect shot for a strike.

One down.

As my ball came out of the ball return I couldn't wait to get up there and finish this off as I was feeling supremely confident at this point.

I scooped my ball up off of the rack, wiped the oil off, got set, took a deep breath and proceeded to toss another near perfect shot for a strike.

"YES!!!" I exclaimed at the top of my lungs.

I was now just one shot and 7 pins away from moving to the final match and having a chance at taking home the title and the $10,000 pay day.

I scooped my ball up off of the ball return, got set, took a deep breath and proceeded to toss another great shot ... only to see it miss the spot and wash out.

X X 6.

I was eliminated.

How could that have happened?

People asked me after "why didn't you just throw your spare ball down the middle and try to get 7 or 8?"

The answer to that was simple.  Even though the conditions were brutal there was still a bowler following me that had a chance to knock me out of the tournament if I didn't strike out.

How could I have ever forgiven myself for throwing my spare ball down the middle, getting 7 and then Mark doubles to beat me.

The real question was what in the world happened to that last ball?   I really felt like I made a great shot.  Why all of the sudden did it not hook?!

Granted, I may have been a little jacked up and threw it a little harder which would have caused it to not see the lane in the same spot.

It was only after talking to Brian Graham after the event that he asked me a very important question.

"So did you wipe your ball off every shot in the 10th?"

"I know I did the first two shots but I don't think I did on the fill.."

Little did I know or understand at that point how significant of a mistake that was.

Could that have been the reason it didn't hook?  Maybe, maybe not.  What I can be certain of is the combination of the moment, letting my adrenaline get sky high while yelling like a fool after I doubled, and not wiping the oil off of my ball all worked together to play a role in my defeat.

I remember getting in the car to head back to Louisville right after bowling and we rode the entire way back in complete silence.

No music.

No conversation other than my occasional "how did that just happen" rhetorical question.

It was the longest car ride, ever.

THE ROLLER COASTER RIDE CONTINUES

Full disclosure: my memory is very suspect these days and a large amount of the late 2000's are blurry images in my head.

Thanks to bowl.com, I was able to verify the following part.

In December of 2011 I joined with my four "Ogle Lawn & Landscaping" teammates in our Monday night league at Thelmal Lanes to put up a score that briefly held the Louisville City and Kentucky State record series.

It started with a very solid score but nothing that would have us believing this night would be anything special.

Dave Howlett had 225, Dennis Fuller bowled 207, Doug Ogle shot 180, Tony Lambert put up 279 and I managed to bowl 300 (Hammer No Mercy).

Game two is when we started to kind of pay attention to what was going on with our score.

Howlett shot 277 while Fuller had 266, Ogle 228, Lambert 279 (again) and I had 275 (first 9 strikes followed by a bucket and then a 3 pin on the fill ball) for 1325.

I believe that is the highest team game I can remember being involved with.

Someone on the team made mention of the fact that we now needed around 1260 to grab the City record.

I can remember that about half of the way through the game I stepped up and the rack was AWFUL but I am really bad about not taking re-racks, and my team knew this.  I'm standing there with my ball on my knee as I wait my turn, shaking my head looking at that rack, when I notice the sweep come down.

I turn around and see that Dennis Fuller had reached around me and hit the button to re-rack the pins for me!

"There.  No need to worry about your superstitions now.  You didn't re-rack that, I did."

We went on to bowl the following scores:  Dave Howlett 258 (760 series), Dennis Fuller 255 (728 series), Doug Ogle 258 (666), Tony Lambert 248 (806) and I had 277 (852) for a combined team series of 3812.

That was such an incredible night of bowling and was good enough to set the City and State record for 5 man team series and was 3rd in the entire nation that season.

Talking about finishing 2006 off with a bang!

The ball continued to roll in early 2007 as I received an opportunity to fill in for a friend of mine in an event that ended up being one of the biggest financial hits I had in my career.

Ron Hickland called me one afternoon in mid-January to ask me if I had any interest in going to Cleveland to bowl in the TNBA Bacardi scratch singles event with his group.

A friend of ours had paid for a spot but had something come up and they were no longer able to attend so Mr. Hickland offered that spot to me if I wanted it.

My health was relatively stable at this time so I was on board and excited for the opportunity.

The Bacardi scratch singles event had quite a reputation as it typically brought in 200+ of the country's best amateur players to battle for the $7000 first place check along with an extraordinary amount of side action.

If things went according to plan I envisioned bowling this event and then hitting the Mega Bucks up one more time before getting my PBA card and hitting up the tour life for a bit.

I remember a conversation I once had with local legend, Dave Smalley, in which he told me "if you're planning on trying to compete on the PBA Tour be sure to do it before you're 30.  Get out there and give it a shot before your body starts going down hill and before you get settled down and start a family."

I had put my dreams off long enough.  Now was the time.

First and foremost, however, was the Bacardi.

It was the last year that Freeway Lanes of Wickliffe had wood lanes and man were they in brutal shape which lead to a dream scenario for a lefty.

More often than not left-handers will sign up for the first squad of a tournament because, in theory, when given the choice we will always choose to compete on the "fresh".  This event had the A squad, which bowled on the 'fresh' while the B squad bowled on the 'burn'.  We usually bowl 'fresh' because we don't want to bowl against the right-handers once the pattern gets broken down and opens up a bit.

As it turned out,  because I was taking the spot of a bowler that had already signed up, I had to take the squad that they had pre-registered for which was "B" squad.

I can remember going down to Ron and Mark Clark after the first few games, frustrated with how I was throwing it, and saying "meh, nothing exciting that game - 220 something.  Just plugging along."

Ron and Mark looked at each other and then gave me a rye smile and said "just keep doing what you're doing."

I was so focused on what I was doing that I never bothered to look around me to see how other scores were.

Little did I know scores were very low and my 220's were actually really strong.  And when the event has over 300 brackets per squad, this ends up being a very good day to bowl 220 over and over.

The old wood was taking it's toll on the right-handers as the lanes were REALLY hooking and here I was, one of the only left-handers bowling the "burn" squad, chucking my Ebonite Total NV up 10 and working my way to a day 1 lead.

I was dumbfounded.  I knew when we left that day that this was a tournament that I could potentially win if I could figure out a way to start throwing it a little better and mentally stayed the course.

On Sunday it was much of the same.  I worked my way through the three rounds of qualifying and found myself sitting in the #1 position of the step-ladder finals.

It all came down to one game vs Dave Ewald who is a dear friend of mine and a darn good bowler.

The beat up lane surface came into play yet again as Dave having trouble getting his ball to get through the front part of the lane while I was able to just play my "A" game after I switch to my Raw Hammer Toxic and worked my way to the tournament win.

It is tournaments like that, on a lane surface such as this that helps me understand why right-handers get so frustrated with the left side of the lane sometimes!

I was so excited!   Again, this was one of the last 'big events' that I planned on bowling before giving the PBA Tour a try so to be able to come home with the 1st place trophy helped boost my confidence that my health was finally no longer a hurdle and my game was back to where it was before I was diagnosed with Crohn's Disease.

It was now time to get back, make my arrangements for the summer Mega Buck tournaments and continue working towards my dreams.

As the days passed by that year, however, my health started to go back in the wrong direction.  Over the course of two months I lost 25 lbs without dieting or attempting to lose weight in any fashion.

"What now!?" I remember thinking to myself.

Towards the end of May it was painfully clear that something was very wrong.

My mid-section hurt to the touch and I spent most of my nights curled up in the fetal position on the bathroom floor or crying myself to sleep if I was able to actually make it to bed.

That being said, because I clearly never learn from my past, I was determined to make the trip to Las Vegas in July no matter what it took.

I promised my friends and family that I would get checked out once I returned from the High Roller but this was going to be my last crack at the Mega-Bucks, right?  I can't miss it!

Does this sound familiar?

Once the month of June rolled around I couldn't eat, I was barely sleeping, heck it hurt my stomach if I even tried to stand up straight.

It was time to see Dr. Adler again.

I ended up having to go to the ER one fateful night as I could no longer take the pain and my DR was not able to get me in for a scheduled visit for another few weeks.

They checked me out in the ER and instantly admitted me to the hospital with severe dehydration and infection in my intestines.

Dr. Adler, again, walked in and told me he wanted to smack me in the head for waiting so long before coming to see him.

He ran a number of tests on me again and that's when he came back with some really bad news.

Apparently, at this point, I had nearly "gone septic" as I had developed a number of holes in my intestines and what was essentially poisons were leaking out of my digestive system and into my blood stream.

Once again, according to Dr. Adler, had I waited another couple days to come see him I would have died.

This time, however, I wasn't as fortunate and "fixing me" was going to be a lot more work.

Because so much damage had been done to my intestines there was now a section that was essentially "rotten" and needed to be removed.

14 inches of my small intestines would have to come out, they'd have to re-route part of my digestive system and recovery time would take anywhere from 6 to 8 months, at best.

6 to 8 months in which I was not "allowed" to lift anything over 10 lbs.

6 to 8 months in which I was not "allowed" to make the motion of using a broom to sweep a floor.

6 to 8 months in which I was not "allowed" anything even resembling 'strenuous activity."

I remember the moment he told me that news.   I didn't know if I wanted to cry, scream, vomit, get up and tell them I refused surgery - I didn't know what to do.

I remember laying in my bed thinking "why me?"  "What did I do to deserve this?"  "What did I do wrong?"

It was one of the darkest times of my life and I knew that it was going to be a major uphill battle if I was ever going to find a way to live a 'normal' life.

If getting back to somewhat 'normal' was going to be such a struggle then I guess it was time to kiss those PBA dreams goodbye.

That dark time filled with sadness had now turned to anger.

The "why did this happen to me" thoughts turned into feeling like my dream was "stolen" from me because of something that I had no control over.

It was a very dark time and I was angry with the world.

I felt robbed.

I felt cheated.

It didn't take long, however, for me to realize a couple other things I was.

I was loved.

I was lucky to be alive.

I was not alone.

Road to Recovery, once again

For the majority of my life, minus a few spots here and there, I refuse to quit.  I typically am one of those people that will keep moving full speed ahead to a fault.

Trying to recover from this surgery had me wanting to quit.

You never really realize how much you lift things over 10 lbs on a daily basis.

You likely never realize how much you use your core/midsection on a daily basis.

Heck I was not even allowed to sweep a broom for 6 months.

It was absolute misery.

My support group, however, never left my side and never strayed.   There was a small group of friends and family that would call me every day to make sure I was ok, see if I needed anything, would bring me food and so on.

Sometimes it takes getting knocked down in order to see who is truly going to stand by you through thick and thin.

There is no way I would have made it through this part of my struggles.  There was more than one occasion that I wanted to give up and just let this disease run its course.

I felt like such a burden.

I absolutely despise feeling like someone has to 'take care' of me.   I hate feeling like I am in the way.

I hate feeling like a burden.

There were times I could not get out of bed without help.

There were times I could not get out of the tub without help, and I wasn't allowed to take a shower so the tub was my only choice.

I would be lying if I said there weren't times that I would lay in bed and think that everyone's life would be easier if I was no longer around.

There were times I would cry myself to sleep thinking that my suffering was now overflowing into my inner-circles lives.

This was a very dark time in my life.  Things were falling apart both physically and now mentally.

Through all of this my support system never wavered.  When I would start to get frustrated they would be there to help me smile.  When I struggled to stand up someone was there to lend a helping hand. When I got lonely they would come sit by my side.  When I started to allow myself to slip into a depression they would assure me that I was loved and that I would be able to make it through this.

After months of frustrations, ups, downs, struggles and small victories - I was able to work my way through those six months and gain clearance from my DR to start being active again.  

This was both great news and scary news all at the same time.  What happens if I tear something?  What happens if all of the pain and issues come back again?  I had essentially been doing nothing but sitting on the couch or laying in bed for six months.  How long was it going to take me to be able to get the muscle and stamina back that would allow me to compete again?

Would the day ever come where I would be competitive again?  I was down to 110 lbs and would get winded walking out to the mailbox every day.

This was going to be hard.

Small Steps Forward 

After everything had healed up and I was "allowed" to start moving forward again it was a struggle.  My condo was on the second level of my complex so any time I left home I would have to go down the flight of stairs to leave and then go back up on the way back in.

I can remember many days where I would have to take a break when trying to get back up to my condo and lean against the rail while I caught my breath.

Fortunately there is a walking track right behind the condo complex and I would do my best to spend some time every day trying to build in my leg strength and endurance.

A lot of people focus on their upper body and arm strength when preparing for bowling but if there was one thing I learned during my struggles is the importance of leg strength.

As for bowling, you can probably imagine, it was a nightmare.

I did not jump right back into league or tournament bowling but instead I spent my afternoons attempting to practice.  I would just go up to Fern Valley Strike & Spare and bowl until I ran out of energy.  Once I was out of gas I would pack up and try again the next day.

During all of the walks, practice games, leg squats, push-ups, the shadow of doubt never left.

My will would never let me give up, it's just not how I am built.  That being said, with every missed spare in practice, or every time I had to take a break while trying to walk up 20 steps, or when I felt like I was going to pass out after walking a quarter mile on the track the doubt grew larger.

"Will I ever get back to where I once was?"

"Can I really keep fighting?"

Constant thoughts that ran through my mind.

My mood was very dark and I was not the most pleasant person to be around.  Though I tried to put on the front that I was ok, I was miserable.  When out in public I tried as hard as I could to put on a smile, but on the inside I was crying.

I was going through a major "why me" phase.  I would sit in bed and ask "what did I do to deserve this?"

It was obvious that this was going to be a tough road to recovery, I just wasn't sure I had what it took to make it.

One crack at living my dream

After several months of hard work, I finally started to feel like I could somewhat compete again.   It wasn't pretty but I kept telling myself that any step forward was worth the struggle.

During this time I made the decision to drop down to 14# bowling balls as the 15's were causing me to really add muscle to my swing, which is never a good thing.

With the technology in today's bowling balls, the switch to 14 went quite well and it was a pretty seamless transition.

Towards the end of 2008 things were trending upward and my confidence was sky high so I thought it was time to try and live out my dream... so I signed up for the PBA World Series of Bowling in Detroit, MI.

Being that I had bowled two PBA Regional tournaments on the Chameleon pattern and I have had some previous success playing the gutter on the Cheetah pattern, I decided to sign up for those two PTQs (qualifiers).

Mike Wolfe and I practiced for a couple days on the patterns before heading to Detroit to take on the best in the world.

The Chameleon pattern was first and I was both nervous and excited to get started.

I had been waiting for this day since I first decided I was going to start taking this game seriously.

My memory is a bit fuzzy but I do remember starting out pretty solid but quickly fell out of contention and ended up finishing 43rd out of 78 bowlers.

The surface at Super Bowl hooks a LOT that year and Ryan Ciminelli ran everyone over with his Natural.  This was the first year that urethane became a "must have" in your tournament bag.

 It was quite disappointing to not be able to make the top 1/2 of the field but fortunately I had one more shot in the Cheetah Championship.

After struggling through the first three games I started to realize that I was over-matched and the moment you start doubting yourself you are in trouble.

I ended up tying for 52nd place out of 99 bowlers.

How embarrassing.

I packed up my equipment and started my journey back to Jeffersonville, IN where I was living at the time with Mr. Wolfe.

On the way home I spent some time thinking about what went wrong, what went right, and what I could have done differently.  I started to real how crazy and arrogant I was in this situation.   What was I thinking?  Did I truly believe that I could spend six or seven months bowling league, practice a couple times on the patterns and then go out and compete with the best bowlers in the world?   That is just ridiculous.

After going over all of the ups and downs of the week I let the thoughts go and started focusing on what was next in my journey.   A great friend of mine (and a pretty incredible bowler), Bill Hoffman once told me that the key to staying sane in the tournament world was the ability to "analyze and forget".   Go over all of key moments of the tournament, think about what worked and what didn't and then put it all out of your mind.  Dwelling on a bad performance or gloating on a good one never helps you in the next event.

Analyze and forget.

The PBA WSOB did not work out the way I had envisioned but you know what, I tried.  One year after being told I was nearly dead, there I was competing with the best bowlers in the world.  The bowling performance was not what I had hoped it would be but I competed and that, to me, was a success.

I have not bowled in a non-regional PBA since that week but that experience did light a fire in me and I knew it was time to either get better, accept where I was in the game, or give up.

And I don't give up, ever.

A little hard work never hurt no one ... or did it?

Upon my return from Detroit I knew it was time to ramp up the practices and try and get over the hump that I was currently stuck at.

I spent my lunch hours practicing.  I spent my evenings practicing.  I spent my weekends traveling and bowling everything I could find.

The year started off hot with the City Tournament at Rose Bowl North.

With the Ebonite Red Mission I managed to set the city record for a 9 game all events series (2394 I believe it was) as well as the 4 man team series record as I combined with Brett Shepherd, Seby Silvestri, and Scott Thornton for a 3133 team total.

Just as things seemed to be going great and I was finally on track to get where I wanted my health stuck it's head back out to remind me that things can be taken away in just an instant.

I had been fighting some severe stomach pains and bleeding for a few weeks but, as usual, put off my DR visit because I didn't want to miss any events that I had signed up for.

Finally, after weeks of pain and pleading from my family to make an appointment, I called my DR and went in for a check-up.

After doing some lab work and poking around on my stomach for a bit my Gastro sent me straight to the hospital to be admitted.

I was absolutely crushed.

Turns out I was severely flared, dehydrated and malnourished.

They admitted me and hooked me up to an IV that ran a couple different nutrients and fluids through me to try and help me get back to level.   I had dropped down to 115 lbs again as I can't eat before bowling and I was bowling a LOT.   During all of my work I forgot to take care of myself - and now I was paying the price.

After four days of lying in the hospital bed with the IVs running full-bore they finally released me to go home.   I could go home, but once again, it was break time from bowling.

My DR recommended that I take 2 months off of bowling and then reduce my schedule/practice time so that I didn't run myself into the ground again.

Here we go again.   As soon as I get back to where I feel like I can take on the world my body hits the reset button.

How am I supposed to compete with the best in the world when I'm always at about 70% healthy on my good days and then every 6 months I have to quit.   What kind of crazy pattern is that?!

I was frustrated, sad, depressed, and extremely angry.

All of that being said, I was alive.  I had fought back before and I know I can do it again.  It wasn't easy and it was a pain (literally) but I was alive and I don't give up.

Time to climb the hill, again.

Normal is Boring

The next couple of years were pretty low key, minus one key stretch.

I had actually forgotten about this moment until Brett Shepherd reminded me of it recently.  Like I previously mention, my memory is really poor these days as I truly believe the lack of nutrients and hundreds of different medicines that I have ingested over the year have really taken quite a toll on my brain.

Baton Rouge, LA - 2012.  Brett and I drove the USBC Open Championships that year as it was the first one in a while that was a reasonable distance away.

On the trip down we came up with a fun idea of searching on Google to see find a random bowling center during the drive that we could stop at and bowl for lunch.  We decided that we would each grab one ball and our shoes and we would go in and bowl two games with the loser having to pay for lunch that day.

If memory serves me I bowled somewhere in the 450 range for my two and I lost by 70.

That Shepherd kid is good.

Everything seemed to be normal the rest of that afternoon as well as most of the next day.  Heck, the hotel we stayed at had a basketball hoop so Brett and I decided to go play a friendly game of HORSE to see who had to pay for dinner that night.  Yes, we may gamble too much, but that's besides the point.

Later that night I started feeling a little weak and ended up going to bed pretty early as our team bowled the next evening and I wanted to make sure I was well-rested and ready for the Open Championships.

The next morning I woke up and was completely miserable.  I was pouring sweat, my stomach was in knots, I was passing blood when using the restroom, and I was running a pretty high fever.

Awesome.

The rest of the crew went off to bowl the Bowlers Journal while I stayed in bed in hopes that I could sleep this off and get ready for team event that night.

When they returned to the hotel, about 5 hours before our scheduled time for team, I was still completely miserable.  It was so bad that I called our team captain, Art Brown, and asked him to go over to the convention center and see if there were any subs on the sub board that could take my place.  I didn't see any way I was going to be able to recover in time to give the team any sort of help.

Unfortunately there were no sub sheets on the board looking to bowl that night and, since I'm a stubborn little cuss, I asked Art to get me some Tylenol and I would try and figure it out.

The team was nice enough to carry my bowling balls through the weighing station and to the lanes as I was literally too weak to carry them myself.   At one point I'm pretty sure Brett had to catch me from falling over as we walked out to our lanes.

I was a complete mess.

During the team event that night I would throw my shot and then go back to my seat and curl up in the fetal position.  I hated that I was a burden to the team and assuredly a distraction.  Honestly, how could possibly be able to focus when one of your teammates is over in the corner doubled over and sweating like a pig?

Brett likes to tell people that he's pretty sure I was clinically dead that trip.  The worse news of all was the fact that we still had to make the drive back home after we finished with bowling the next day...  The thought of being in the car for 11 hours while feeling like that sounded like absolute torture.

I don't remember much else from that trip except this one thing.  On the way home I was bored so I  started scanning through Facebook and looking to see where it would allow me to "check-in" at.  It was during a time that people were having fun by checking in at random crazy places and being that we were on the road in a strange place, I thought it would be fun to see what I could find.

The only thing that looked fun was "Bubba's Traffic School" so I tagged Brett, Art, and myself in and laughed with Brett about some of the responses people were leaving on the post.

About 10 minutes after I tagged us in at that location we get pulled over ... going 15 over ... in a construction zone.

Talk about Karma.

Once I got back home the DRs started me on some new meds that seemed to do the trick for a little bit but it was starting Humira injections that really got me straightened out for a while.

I was given the option of doing Humira, which was an injection in the stomach that I had to give myself each week or I could do Remicade which was a three hour infusion every six weeks.

The idea of being able to do the injections myself from the comfort of my own home won out and I started the Humira.

For a year and a half to two years I finally felt normal again!

My weight had ballooned from 110 up to 140 during that time and I finally felt like I was starting to re-gain some strength and endurance.

This was one of the better runs that I had been on in quite some time and I was starting to 'forget' what it was like to be sick all of the time.

In November of 2013 I was reminded.

There were no warning signs.  I started to feel a little run down but that was normal for me so I didn't really notice anything was happening.  My weight started to go back down, but again, my weight fluctuated that I really didn't even notice.

By the end of the month I was back to not eating much and spending lots of time in bed.

By the end of December I was really struggling again and decided it was time for me to go see my gastro again to see what was happening this time.

When I finally got in to see him he was more than a little upset with me for not seeing him sooner.

I had lost 28 lbs from the last time I saw him, which was a mere two months prior.

They admitted me to the hospital, again, and ran every test they could thing of in an attempt to see what was wrong.

Oddly enough, other than a normal Crohn's flare, they couldn't figure anything out.

My DR was legtimately baffled.

I went from perfectly fine, so to speak, to dropping almost 30 lbs and no real answer as to why.

To this day he still never figured out what happened as he doesn't believe that just a flare would have caused that to happen, especially in such a rapid pace.

Life Changing Event

We decided that the Humira was no longer working and we started discussing what we could possibly try next.

Dr Adler informed me that there was a new "wonder drug" called Entivyo on the way that he was extremely excited about as it was supposed to be the next big thing in the on-going battle against this disease.

The problem was this new drug was not coming out for another several months - so there was a pretty big window of time that we had to try and patch me through until the FDA cleared the Entivyo.

I was given the option of starting Remicade or simply continue what I was currently doing and just waiting for the new drug to be approved.

After discussing it with my family and close friends, I made the decision to just wait for Entivyo.  The side-effects of Remicade really scared me and I had talked to several people who were on it and they were on the fence about recommending it so I figured I would rather deal with things the best I could while playing the waiting game.

My thought was, I'm already sick and miserable, why take this infusion that was likely going to make me feel worse for a while (Remicade) and then switch to yet another infusion as soon as it was available and basically start over again.

The moment Entivyo was available Dr Adler got me on the list to start taking it.

I believe I was the first person in the state of KY to be on this infusion -- but I was more than happy to be the test subject.

The infusion itself is nice and simple.  It takes about an hour to mix the medicine and then it is about an hour infusion and I am on my way.

Around the same time as the infusions started I began having a pain in my left ... well ... butt cheek.  It felt a bit like a pulled muscle and, as weak as my body tends to get, I just figured that I pulled something while bowling or during one of my daily walks.

Nothing to be concerned about, I thought.

I would soon find out just how wrong I was.

Five Surgeries.  Two months.

After visiting my Gastro and telling him about these pains he sent me over to see a specialist.

This doctor, Dr. Allen, would eventually change my life forever.

She poked around on the spot that hurt and sent me in for some scans to see what the issue was.

As it turned out, I had an abscess that was too deep to drain in the office and therefore needed to be surgically drained.

The procedure itself was pretty simple, but it was in such a tough spot that I ended up needing to somehow divert the "waste" from infecting the area while it healed, so I left the hospital with a tube in my read.

This may have been the low point of my disease, and that's saying something.

This tube was an absolute nightmare.

I will spare you the details, but just trust me on this, I counted the minutes until it was time to take this thing out.

A few weeks after the above mentioned surgery I started to feel the pain again.

"Oh no, please don't tell me I've developed another one?!"

Knowing the hell I had to go through after the previous surgery, I planned on just toughing this one out and seeing what would happen.

The pain was more of a constant and dull burning sensation, which I could handle, but I started developing a fever which was trouble.

Again, any infection could legit kill me due to my compromised immune system.

I remember lying in bed with my thermometer next to me and checking my temp every 30 minutes.

Once it got over 103 I knew I had to bite the bullet and call Dr. Allen.

She rushed me in for scans, saw that the abscess was back and had doubled in size, and immediately sent me in for surgery again.

Rinse and repeat the above story two more times within a 5 week span.

I was on the verge of a breakdown.

I can remember curling up on the couch and crying my eyes out on more than one occasion as I tried to come to terms with the mess that my life currently was.

"What kind of life is this!?" I yelled out on more than one occasion.

After the 5th surgery Dr. Allen came to me with some news and an idea that would force me to make the biggest decision, regarding my health , that I have ever had to make.

My New Life

We had now gotten to the point that it was becoming dangerous to continue constantly operating on the same spot over and over.  Not only that, but this clearly was just a 'patch' and nothing we were doing was able to cure my issue.

After consulting with Dr. Adler, Dr. Allen came to me and told me what they'd decided the next step was in their attempt to get me healthy.

I was going to need an ileostomy bag.

It took a while for what she was saying to sink in.

This was my worst fear.

I always knew, in the back of my mind, that this potentially could be a possibility due to the severe nature of my disease ... but I never really thought we'd come to that point.

She told me that it would only be temporary as we needed to give that spot time to heal and this was the only way they could think of on how to make sure that happened.

6 to 8 months.

I wanted to pull all of the wires off me, take my IV out, and run as far away as I could from that place to prevent this from happening.

I was absolutely scared to death.

How was I going to be able to function like this?

How was I going to be able to bowl?  Go out with friends?  Play basketball?

Dr. Allen told me "you know, I have a lot of patients that despise the idea of having this put on and then, when it's time to take it off, they love the changes it has made in their life and they end up keeping it on."

"Absolutely no chance that's happening with me, doc.  The MOMENT you give me the all-clear signal I will be back here in this hospital bed getting this thing reversed", I told her.

"We'll see."  she responded.

Now, here we are, two years later, and I still have this thing attached to my hip.

My bag has changed my life in such a way that I can't even begin to describe.

Am I 100% healthy with no issues?   Of course not.

There has been so much damage to my body along the way that there are days that I can't get out of bed still to this day.

Every time I bowl a tournament I'm in misery for the next day or two.

I can't tell you how many times I've limped through the front door, curled up in the fetal position in Stacey's lap, and asked her "is it worth it?   How much can I put my body through to play this game that I love before I decided enough is enough?"

There is so much scar tissue built up from my dozen surgeries that I still get some pretty good pains in my stomach and bottom from time to time.  Heck I think I've been sitting on a heating pad on a daily basis for the last three weeks.

That being said, I'm much better than I was before the bag.

I have put on 35 lbs in the last two years.    I am able to travel and bowl more than I have been able to in over 10 years.   My strength is back to where it was 10 years ago and I am starting to feel like I can make it and battle through this life.

It certainly isn't easy, but lets be honest, what (almost) 40 year old doesn't have aches and pains?

The question now is, do I have it reversed?

I have spoken many times with my surgeon as well as my Gastro to get their opinions on the matter.

They both feel like I can have it reversed and there is a decent chance that I can maintain where I am now, physically.

But...

There is also a very decent chance that I have this reversed and remove the bag and then immediately go back down hill.

There is a chance the abscesses return, as they think it may have something to do with the infusion that I am taking.

There is a chance that I immediately go back into a Crohn's flare and have to battle through that.

It's a decision that weighs on my mind, constantly.
 
Conclusion

So there you have it.  I will likely go back and add some more stuff here and there, as there are some stories that I left out as I tried to figure out how to fit them into the story.

This was just a little peek inside my life.

My goal for this story was simple:  if one person out there will read this and see that there is hope, then all of my suffering was worth it.  If just one person reads my story and says "you know what, he didn't give up and neither am I."   Then all of my suffering was worth it.

Watching Jimmy V's speech leaves me crying like a baby, but I am going to steal his famous line to close this out:

"Don't give up.  Don't ever give up."

**Update**


As you have likely gathered when reading this story, I do not like to let my disease defeat me. I am stubborn to a fault and will typically push and push until I simply can't push any longer.

A recent decision I have made contradicts that mindset.

Typically when I bowl an event it will take me a day or two for my body to recover. My legs will usually hurt so badly at night that it is hard to get any rest, I will usually have a stomach full of meds but no food to counter balance those so my stomach will turn into a swollen painful mess.

Something has changed in the last few months. Could it be simply the fact that I turned 40 and am now considered "over the hill"?  Maybe, but I don't think that's it.

I have been to see my gastro DR multiple times this year begging and pleading for him to figure out what is wrong with me.  I wake up every day in pain and it usually doesn't get better as the day goes on.  What's worse is what used to only take a day or two to recover from now takes a week. The last few events that I've bowled I didn't get out of bed the next day.

The USBC tournament is something that I have bowled every  year since 1998. It has always been a dream of mine to come back from one of these trips with my name at the top of the leaderboard with a chance of winning an Eagle. I haven't set the world on fire on any of these trips but it's usually a grind where shot making and spare shooting are rewarded and I usually am able to keep it close and fill frames.

The problem is the stress of the travel, lugging my equipment all over the place, bowling multiple days without eating, and the difficulty of the shot really wears me out to the point that I can barely function by the end of the event. I know this going in but it has never stopped me from going.

Until now.

After struggling with what to do for a few weeks I have decided that it would be in my best interest, physically, to sit out this year. And it breaks my heart. The last thing I wanted to do was travel to Las Vegas, knowing that I am only competing at about a 75% level currently, and limping my way through the 9 games and hurting my team's chance of winning. It isn't fair to them for me to "figure it out" when they could get a replacement that is healthy and able to give it his all.

I am not sure if I've mentioned this so far in my story but Mike Wolfe gave me an interesting perspective on situations like this a few years ago.

I was in a bad place with my health but, again, if I sit out an event because I'm "not well" I feel like a failure that let this disease beat me ... and I REFUSE to feel that way.

So about a week before our team tournament Wolfe asked me if he should get a replacement bowler for me and I said "absolutely not, I'll figure it out. It's kinda my thing."

Wolfe responded with: "seems pretty selfish to me."

I was dumbfounded.  Here I thought I was doing something good by pushing through and giving it all that I could but Mike disagreed.

"So what you're saying is that you think you, at 60% healthy, is better than a sub that I could get that is 100%? Seems like a selfish and arrogant way to think."

Never in a million years had I ever looked at things like that, but he has a point.

I had that conversation in mind when I let my teammates know last week that I have decided to skip the USBC trip this year.

With the Proprietors Cup singles, doubles, trios, and team event a couple weeks before nationals, the Ironman in Louisville the week after we would get back, the KY Open a couple weeks after that and then our trip (drive) to the beach for our vacation I just felt I HAD to sit at least one thing out.

The Prop Cup is only a couple hours away from home and the other two tournaments are local while nationals would require flying to Vegas and all that goes along with that.  The bowling is hard enough on my body but the travel and all it entails might be even harder.

This was not an easy decision to make.  I told my team that I was going to second guess and be upset with which ever way I went so I should probably choose the option that saves my body some abuse. I am 100% sure if I went I would've wished I stayed home and if I stayed home I would've wished I went.  It's inevitable.

What makes it even HARDER is the fact that bowling has been going pretty well over the last few months and, shot making wise, I feel fairly sharp. Unfortunately my body has been failing me and a trip like nationals could literally kill me.

I've asked my team to "go win one for the gipper" but every time I think about them being out there without me I am not sure if I want to throw up or cry.  Or both.

People say that no one cares or thinks about you as much as you think about you. I have been completed stressed about this decision and I feel sick any time I watch a highlight clip or someone putting up a big score or over hear people talking about how they're playing.  I've been struggling mightily with the feeling that I'm letting my guys down by not going but I doubt they're sitting around thinking "ah man this is gonna stink without Hester."

Don't get me wrong, I think they'll miss me being there and they all want me to go -- but I think I'm the only one losing sleep over the decision.

Why is it that this feels like quitting? Why do I let these tough decisions ruin me?

I truly think my body has finally started to fall apart after pushing so hard for so many years. I always said I was going to "run full speed ahead until I crash". 

Well, I think I'm starting to crash. There was no doubt this day would come but, at the same time, it was a day that I've tried very hard to avoid.

It's just one event.  There will be plenty more and my guys have already assured me my spot on the team will be there again next year .... but it's more than that to me.

I feel like I lost.
I feel defeated.
I feel like a failure.

Maybe I put too much pressure on myself?

What do you think?